So last night I talked with my roommates. Comforting one( she is awesome but totally doesn't see it. This will be a topic I discuss in later posts. It really bothers me.) And just talking about growing up. It was eye opening. Then Lauren my room roommate and I watched the Notebook. Every time I watch this movie I have a new realization. I know its kinda weird but that movie applies to a lot of people. While watching I realized that I knew I was transferring schools. I was secretly fighting it nail and tooth. I don't like moving. I have friends who love me. The classes are straight forward and easy. All of this is pretty hard to leave. I know I stay somewhere as long as I am needed or as long as there a lesson I need to learn. I have learned most of what I can from BYU-I so it is time to move on. I also learned that letting people care about you may hurt them but the support and love are worth it. I have pretty much always believed that people are out to get me and that letting people get to know the real me will leave me heart broken and betrayed. That changed last night. I have to let people in or else I can't help others. It was really hard to watch Noah look so upset when Allie forgot who he was again. Seeing all the pain that her condition caused hurt me. I know that someday I will fall apart. I may not forget the people I love but there may come a day when I can't really move or participate in life. Getting old does that to people. I get upset now for causing other people pain. I can't imagine what it will be like when I have kids and grand-babies. The circle of influence grows with age and thinking of hurting people makes me feel nauseous. I also learned that rushing things will just blow up in my face. Life is short but the days are long and I should try and learn as much as I can while I am here.
Well those are my thoughts via the Notebook.
Love Sara
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