Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016: The Year of Perspective Change and Growth

2016 started with a bang. I was a recent college graduate, who had her most serious relationship fall apart. The loneliness was awful. Losing a best friend and confidant is not something I would wish on anyone. Luckily though, I had work prearranged, which meant I was working and keeping busy. My job at the hospital has always been great. It has its ups and downs of all jobs and generally I enjoyed it. I worked on a few projects over my time there and they were usually time consuming and brain numbing, but they helped me save for grad school and gave me experience.

In March, I went to China to visit my Aunt with my mother. it was a crazy experience to go there. Culturally it is nothing like anything I have ever experienced before. And it opened my eyes,once again, to how people can live differently and do things I don't understand, but still be happy. Split pants on babies are still odd to me, google it. It is so funny! I loved seeing the panda bears and this was the year they came of the endangered list. The amount of pollution and the level of need I saw in a few places really broke my heart. I think China has the potential to be one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, if the pollution was under control. I developed temporary asthma. And I coughed so hard I was ill almost every day. Living a life time with that is something I don't think I will ever comprehend. I can say I do miss people telling me how pretty I am and taking my picture. At the time it was kind of annoying, but it was definitely good for the confidence.

 Shortly after returning home, I started being a nanny. It was gratifying to help two little boys learn and grow over the course of a few months. They made a ton of progress and have the potential to be great people. I spent more time with them than their parents did which allowed me to see the affect it has on kids. All kids want is to be loved and spend time with their parent(s). They don't care about fancy new things. That is an adult construct. They want and need your time and attention as a parent. About half way through the summer I got really annoyed with my health. I was always tired, keeping up with the boys was difficult and I didn't feel good about me. Turns out over the course of a year I gained like 30 lbs due to a medication I was on. Side effects are real people! So I made a massive change. I started a doctor monitored weigh loss program through a local hospital. It was an interesting and awkward experience because it was focused at the severely obese. At my heaviest I was obese. I never thought I would get to that point. It happened so slowly I didn't even notice the weight gain. So this became the challenge. I have lost all the weight and am back to just below where I started. I have maintained this weight loss even with my big move to Wales, which in itself is a miracle. I had a lot of motivation to change. I had a goal to get healthy this year and I am in a much better place now. Next year I want to continue this, maintaining weight loss is really difficult. If I can maintain for 6 months, then my body will kind of reset, and this will become my new normal weight. I have 2 months to go. And I am determined. Once my weight "resets" I will be able to lose more weight, if I so choose to do so. I will because weight creep is an issue and I don't want to have to start over. Moving to Wales was really grateful this. The British palate is different than mine. Most fast food and junk foods don't really taste good to me; chocolate being the exception. and have mercy their chocolate is good! It helped a lot because, I couldn't stress eat anymore.

I was in Wales for a grand total of 91 days. The first 42 I count as my adjusting period. The beginning was really difficult. The accent was initially difficult to understand (especially on the elderly) the customs are different, and I had no idea what I was doing. This time consisted of learning mostly about where I am going, the difference in tipping, and how there are some words that are okay in one country, but not in the other.(side note: I have only made the word mistake a handful of times, and no one hates me, to my knowledge, so that is good).I honestly think I had to have been a miserable person to be around, since I was on the verge of a mental break down the whole time. Ironically, this is the time when I have been introduced to my friends in Wales. And they are fab for putting up with me ha ha.

Since coming to Wales I have moved twice, once into my first flat and then into my current house. My flat was sweet and my flat mates are amazing people, but it was such a small space I was feeling majorly claustrophobic and it was super far away from everything. I am currently living in a house, where my housemates are also amazing, but it is a much more centralized location and I have more than double the amount of space in my room. Moving into this house was the first time I encountered true issues for being an international student.Moving into my new house I had to pay double the deposit because I didn't have a parent/ guardian or relative to co-sign. I have never encountered this before, during my undergraduate degree, I didn't need a co-signer. It forced to rearrange my finances a little bit.

The next issue I encountered was finding work, which I have yet to do. I have applied for countless job, I have lost track. The number of rejection letter, or radio silence are equal to the number of applications I have submitted. A few people have mentioned that they don't hire anyone who can't work at least 30 hours a week. As an international student 20 is the maximum number of hours I can work. There is not a type of work I haven't applied for at this point, I have extended how far I am willing to travel and nothing. Talking to lots of my international student course mates, this is a common issue. No wonder people who study are drowning in debt if it is impossible. It is a system that punishes the people who have had to work twice as hard to get where they are going. Moving internationally is not cheap (I mean still cheaper than grad school in the States but still). I now understand the life of an immigrant much more. I feel deeply compassionate towards those who pick up their lives and move to a new place. They need a support system just like the rest of us and it is hard to find. I was really lucky, because of my being an active member of a church I immediately was able to find support. If I hadn't had them or their level of kindness, this would have been a very different experience. If there was a way to properly thank everyone I would, but I don't have the words or the means to do so. So love to everyone!!!!

Being home for Christmas has been lush. This is the first time in a few years when we all have been home. I am grateful for all the memories we have made and the things we have done. Even though we don't always get along I am glad I have them in my life( usually... just kidding). It is really hard to be thousands of miles from home. 2017 will be a year of hard work and travel. I have some big goals I want to accomplish, hopefully they will happen. Just remember, there is no such thing as being lost; only adventure.

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