Satan v Sara

The new year started and I was determined to be better than 2016. Much like most of the world it was not the best for me. I have a friend Sara who told me, at 20 that there is to be expected a mid 20s kick in the pants.... well it seems mine decided to make a a brief preview.

As a religious person I believe in Satan. A powerful negative being who influences people to do bad. If you reading this are not religious you should still be accustomed to the idea.

This week was amazing and complicated. And let me tell you Satan is enemy numero uno. I have been prepping to start my term again, it starts Tuesday. One of my professors has withdrawn from teaching on medical leave, she is ill. I hope she finds the helps she needs and that it doesn't effect my grades. My knew professors are more more stringent and that makes me a little nervous. We shall have to see.

During the middle of the week I had a meeting with my adviser. I learned that my program doesn't qualify me in the way I thought it did. So I panicked a little about what I was doing in Wales.(read as a three hour meltdown involving crying and skyping my mother since initially I thought it meant I wouldn't be able to get hired following graduation). I felt the biggest wave of doubt and hopelessness that I have ever felt to date. I was ready to pack my bags and leave forever. I felt like I had wasted the better part of 6 months of my life.I have rarely felt so alone in my life. I started praying when I finally slowed my  mind down enough to think  enough to do anything other than panic. And lets be real I was at the very end of my rope. I couldn't take anymore. The month of January was potentially the most trying month I have ever had. I won't go into it but it was something I wouldn't wish on the most evil people who have existed. And God in His love and compassion knew that I couldn't take anymore. The fear melted away and I figured out that I just need to have more supervised observation and I should be fully employable.

 I think I prayed more sincerely in the last month than I have in the past 3 years. And those years have been hard, they felt impossible. Satan put me through the ringer and he lost, as he always will.I won't let him. He has no right. I have come to far, we all have come too far to let him win.

There aren't very many times when I feel confident or strong in my faith. But today I do. And what a great feeling to have on a fast Sunday.

 Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes the peaks and valleys are small ripples and other times they feel like mountains. Either way they have to be conquered. 

LET THE COUNT DOWN BEGIN!

My life is so important that obviously I need to write about it and share it to my friends, family and acquaintances. Over the past few months a lot has happened. The Olympics where Michael Phelps did his things, my family and I had adventures, and I started preparing for my impending travels for grad school. 

There is an entire section of the internet and book stores dedicated to travel and how to prepare for it. The stress has probably given me my first gray hair. I haven't looked, to be honest, I don't really care. Gray can be really dignified and is really trendy right so I would "in".

The visa has been my biggest issue. I had to wait for my CAS.  

C -Confirmation

of

A- Acceptance

for

S-Studies

Basically it is the institution saying"Yes, we are having Sara come study. No, she isn't pretending."

In order to receive a CAS, one must have an unconditional offer from the institution they are planning on attending. My unconditional offer required an FBI background check. It takes forever. 

(If you need one by a certain date make sure you submit your paperwork at least 5 months in advance. It takes 11 weeks before you can even check if they received your application.) After my university processes the background check, the rest of the planning was fairly uneventful... until I had to apply for my visa. 

My school didn't email me telling me the required documents for my visa until two weeks ago. That in and of itself made me anxious. Most visas take a while to process. I complied the documents and went to the post office and mailed them. Upon returning home I found I forgot three pages of documents. The next day I overnight-ed them. Two days after that I had an email that told me I had the wrong type of return label and that I needed to pay for the online PDF return label. I wanted to rip my hair out. 

Today was a glorious day. I have heard back, my visa has been granted. My passport will be returned early next week. My airplane tickets are purchased. Hotel is taken care of for when I arrive.

 

I will be leaving the U.S. for the United Kingdom, where I will be living, in Wales, for the next year. I am so excited for this next adventure.

Cue the Happy Dance: Winning at this Adult-ing thing

It has been a few weeks since I have posted an update for my schooling adventure!

After a months long battle with the FBI, which I won, I was able to move forward with all of the documentation and other hoops to get read for school. Honestly, this is like a mental tough mudder.

For future reference this is how applying for an FBI back ground check goes.

A 12-step program:

1. Spend 20 minutes filling out the form and pay online.

2. Wait in line for two hours to get finger printed like a common criminal

(that ink stains be careful, they give you nifty wipes and it goes away)

3. Mail the envelope to the FBI

4. Wait a grand total of 11 weeks before they can tell you if

you received the documents you mail because its a "security risk"

5. Panic at weeks 3,5,6,7,8, and 10.

6. You call on week 11; they did receive the document.

7. They process the document, by now its about week 13.

8. You call again and they say in the states it takes about 10 days to get to you.

Internationally it can take up to 3 months. (I.E. after your term starts)

9. Major panic

10. Pray for it to get there in a reasonable time.

All the while trying to convince yourself panicking is just aging you.

11. The oh so glorious day where the school emails, you saying your document

was received and to await further instruction!

12. Celebrate

My university has been really amazing about communicating with me. The time change and only being able to communicate through email has made it a semi slow process, but they have been punctual. *point to Swansea*

In order to study in the UK, a student needs a CAS or Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies. One cannot apply for a visa, as a student, without this document. That was emailed to me today! I have now completed my paperwork for my visa. It took about 45 minutes. I went to pay and it got complicated. My payment got denied because it was an international transaction.

I appreciate that banks attempt to protect my money. I really do. Bank and computer hackers are among the worst kinds of people. But not being able to do the things I need to, because they are international transactions is driving me nuts!

In other news, I have an apartment for school. Which I paid for with no problem yesterday. So I was a little confused when my transaction was denied today. If the banking system cooperates, I will have my health insurance (full coverage insurance is only $301 (yes, I do mean dollars not pounds) for the whole year) and visa finished today as well.

My dream is becoming a reality!

The last things on my list are relatively simple. Pack up my life, fly to a new country and set up my life there. Where once again, my list of to-dos will explode.

Cheers!

Facebook Rants and Other things I have Avoided

Over the past few weeks there have been major changes in my life. I started a second job; I quit that job. I quit my job at the hospital. And I have been trying not to panic. 

I thought I could handle two jobs, let me tell you. I cannot. I am just not made to do it. My anxiety level went to an unmanageable level. I had to quit. They were really understanding about it. It was kinda surprising honestly, but I am grateful. I would totally love to work there in the future. It was great the few days I did work there. 

The hospital job, has been some place I worked for the summer for the past six years. It provided most of my income to support myself and some school expenses. I started when I was barely 18. I worked my hardest every year.  It has been consistent and many of my coworkers were great. A few people could not let me grow up, they felt I needed their specific supervision. I am an adult, I am independent and I was very good at meeting deadlines and my job in general. 

I realized it was time to move on. And if I am being my candid self, a few coworkers kept reporting me as not doing my work. I wish people could stay in their own lanes and focus on their work. It got so bad that I didn't enjoy it anymore and I knew I had to leave. Work place bullying is a problem. If you are reading this, please judge people on their work and their ability not their age. Age is not always a reflection of experience. 

I will miss my friends at work. They are great people. I miss it, but it was a safe place. There was a lot of learning on my part. It has helped me become the person I need to me. At this point in life, growth and personal development are vital. Every choice I make matters. I need to stretch myself as much as I can. 

Another reason I left is because my University said I need 400 hours working with children, before I start my program.

 This solidified that I needed to leave. Up until this point, I was unaware of this requirement. Upon this discovery, the search began. After a pretty intense freak out of  

I made a profile for a nanny website. I had many job offers. It took some research and a few interviews.

 I found a job to be a nanny! 

I didn't mention all of this to anyone because I was experiencing like 5 emotions at once. 

I felt like my brain couldn't take all of this.

And this would have been my reality:

And there would be a lot of this:

People do not need facebook rants. I don't need to dump on other people. I wanted to tell everyone. I just couldn't do that to other people. So I bottled it up until there was some stability again. Keeping my mouth shut was a really good choice. It would have been a crazy roller coaster that no one else needed to go on. Most would think I was a train wreck. 

My ducks are in a row( for the time being). I am a happy camper. 

Bits and Blessings

The past few days have been really exciting for me. I got a second job which will help with my school costs. I am filled with gratitude at the opportunity. It will be fun working at Soma. The intimate apparel store. Soma is a brand known for high quality and being able to help all kinds of women. They go up to a 44G cup, which is awesome. This covers more sizes than most other brands.This will give experience and the opportunity to be able to have less debt for grad school!

In addition, I was offered a scholarship!

They will be taking a few grand off of my tuition! It takes a pretty significant portion away of my worry. The scholarship I was awarded was for academic merit. I am so unbelievable blessed. 

There has never been an offer made, to me, for academic achievement ever. I am not  that strong of a student. I haven't been since I was little. Everyone has strengths and book learning is not mine. I have been so blessed. I mean I am just a few thousand closer, but that is so much better than before. 

Money is the biggest stress currently. It keeps me up late at night, it will continue to get better. The closer to my goal, the better I feel about my choices. I hope that I will be employed soon after graduation and I will pay off any debt I have then. For the sake of progress small sacrifices have to be made.

 

I Love Rejection!

The past few days have been really amazing. As many of you know, I was admitted to Swansea University. I am so unbelievably excited to attend. I mean I literally can walk from campus to the beach. Granted, it is Wales, therefore very very cold ocean.  

I mean, who wouldn't want to live in a place like this!?

Anyway. I have been waiting to hear from the last university I applied to; it would have been great. I would have been in North Carolina. It would have been expensive, but it was something I was willing to pay. 

On Saturday, I got the last response! 

"Dear Miss Hopkin,

We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer a position in our program."

Since applying for school, I hoped to only get into one school. All you really need is one acceptance. And there are many reasons to not be offered a position. My self-mission and goal may not align with what they teach, or there are a lot of people who applied for the program, or a many other reasons. 

I felt very confident in my decision to go to Wales before I knew about the other responses. It makes it really easy to decide where to go when there really isn't an option. This made everything really awesome and most importantly simple. There have been so many choices over the past few years; it is a relief to not have to make yet ANOTHER one.

The challenge to apply for visa is the next step. I had to get finger printed, which is cool.  Now  I have the potential to be charged with crimes, because they have my finger prints. Not that I would ever do anything to require using those.  My worst crime I have ever committed is jay walking. Other agencies have my finger prints. I mean I do work in a hospital for children. It will be nice to get this next step done.